And the ones that mother gives you don't do anything at all

This week and its Sunday night so I mean tomorrow I am going to begin a week of doing all the things that I really don't want to do. I have become an ACE procrastinator over the last few months.  I may have ADD, I can't concentrate or get anything done, I might go to the Dr but everytime I do that (twice every 5 years) I am reminded what an idiot he is and how much more likely it is that I will find my cure on some hocus herbalist website or spell casting service than from him. The problem is I seem to spend my life in a trance.Time is slipping through my fingers and I have nothing to show for it. My average day has been; drank coffee, walked dog, ate lunch, walked dog, read blogs, ate dinner, walked dog, read book, slept. I can't stand myself any longer the gap between my potential (or could it be my imagination) and my productivity is ever widening

Things I really don't want to do,

Clean flat, excercise, revise lecture I have to give, finish work on post graduate qualiication that I can't remember the name of such is my academic prowess, update CV, somehow figure out how I can get from poverty to riches overfuckingnight, pay bills, do work on ancient writing project, get boots heeled.

Things I do want to do,

Stay in bed, begin decomposition process, buy macaroons from Laduree and see Coco & Igor at Covent Garden Odeon

What a difference a gay makes

Tomorrow I am presenting a lecture on the benefits of ‘diversity’ in the workplace. It’s fair to suggest I struggle to maintain an academic façade. I feel like Anne Boleyn haunting Hampton Court when I walk the corridors of the second rate educational establishment I am working for at the moment. This morning I selected the students I will be personally tutoring on looks alone. ’ I simply can’t work with ugly people’, I trilled as I examined the images on the application packs.

History of The World

The Romans did not build great civilisations by having meetings, they did it by killing everyone who stood in their way.

Oh Lord can you see, by the dawns early light ..

In NYC no one cooks anything at home ever, I once shocked a friend I was staying with by asking if he had coffee ‘Oh no ‘ he admonished ‘ I never cook!’ . He proudly whizzed open a kitchen draw which instead of being full of the usual array of deadly kitchen paraphernalia was stuffed with take away menus. It was an excellent system – you just pick up the phone, order dinner and a Mexican kid shows up with it 20 minutes later. Food is inexpensive – delivery is free – which means you can afford to give a substantial tip to aforementioned Mexican in an attempt to offset your own discomfort regarding the endemic racism of North America. I just made a vegetarian Shepherds Pie – which confirmed to me that I never want to cook again - I f**king hate it , carrying the stuff home was exhausting, then I had to do everything – touching the vegetables makes my fingers feel all crinkly – loads of washing up , nearly got burnt , major cleaning operation afterwards - hideous!

For love and money

'Employees make the best dates. You don't have to pick them up and they're always tax-deductible.'

Andy Warhol

To abstinent friends

Let us put our regrets to bed now and wake up innocent and free on the morning of the new year.

"With a little time, and a little more insight, we begin to see both ourselves and our enemies in humbler profiles. We are not really as innocent as we felt when we were first hurt. And we do not usually have a gigantic monster to forgive; we have a weak, needy, and somewhat stupid human being. When you see your enemy and yourself in the weakness and silliness of the humanity you share, you will make the miracle of forgiving a little easier."
Lewis B. Smedes

Where are they now?

Mostly in jail actually, I found this amazing Manson Family reunion episode of some hideous talk show on you tube though. The thing is if I had to choose between the audience and the family .......well all I can say is you can see how it happened.

Most games are lost, not won.

I am steadfastly not watching the Olympics, sports bores the f*ck out of me frankly but human rights do not. How can our government and countless others turn a blind eye to Chinas atrocious political record. What about Tianamen Square ,what about Tibet and the world's highest number of executions? I know that Britain is less than squeaky clean but we ought to maintain some basic principles. Sport is supposed to be about fairplay afterall and you could write what the Chinese government knows about that on the back of a grain of rice.

In solitude where we are least alone

Lord Byron was so right with this one particularly when it comes to the cinema. One of my favourite treats is to go to the movies alone during the day. I love to sit in the darkness communing with the celluloid with out fidgety friends near by or worse people munching expensive popcorn and pick & mix. Why do people do that – eat food in cinema? My idea of a treat is to catch a movie – with maybe a diet coke to sip on and then take myself off to Maison B for tea and cake. I don’t want to recreate the darkness of childhood midnight snacks – sucking chocolate fingers with 25 teddies cowering against the night under flannelette bedding. Food in cinemas ought to be banned along with all talking and sitting directly in front of people except when absolutely necessary and then only if the perpetrator is short.