It's raining in my heart

If it had been made clear that Global Warming actually meant we would get more rain, I would have stopped using aerosols ages ago.

Let them eat cake

Had tea at Laduree this afternoon (press the link the music on the website is fantastic). I had the speciality tea which was divine and a L'Isphahan cake. Rose macaroon biscuit, rose cream filling mixed with lychee and raspberry fruit topped with a rose petal. Not too shabby at all! The branch at Harrods is fantastic - not a single car parked outside is worth less than £100,000.00 the overall ambience is downtown Beruit.

Reality doesn't bite

I am pathetic – I love Eric so much I actually blush when I see his picture - he is my new screen saver. I watched a clip of him on You Tube and he was wearing sports wear and he still looked divine. I guess this means in real life he is gay. That’s the Real Life V Fantasy deal though – fantasy amazing – real life dull – do you think if you had the most amazing life full of money, travel , nice clothes and sexy vampires you would fantasise about being bored sick?

A little of what you fancy

Finally had a day off work – spent the morning in Maison Berteaux which I love - Claridge’s prices – soup kitchen service but really good cheese croissants and cakes and the most eccentric staff of any cafe anywhere. Michelle was in today ‘back from the dead’ her words not mine. Over the years greetings have included ‘ I saw your boyfriend on the 19 bus he was going to meet his girlfriend’ and ‘Do you do any exercise?’ They also have an interesting pricing system – I have never paid the same money for the same item twice, I think fish restaurants do a similar thing ‘prices reflect the market’ they call it. The cream slice commodity market seems to be in constant flux. We ordered a croissant and pot of Earl Grey ‘ in your own time’ we laughed hysterically.

The only illness is mental illness

Just wandered home through Soho on a rainy Thursday evening – having wasted £30 on a massage that really hurt and even more money on revolting health food from the shop next door. Perhaps I am not depressed – I may have a wheat allergy. The truth is I have an allergic reaction to mediocrity that no amount of tofu is going to cure. Why would you call a massage shop Relax anyway? – nothing annoys me more than the non sexual touch of strangers . I only went there because I hurt - I am miserable, exhausted, unappreciated and generally over it and somehow the unhappy state of my life manifests itself in my left shoulder, in pain.

I looked up sadness on Google just now ‘Sadness is an emotion characterized by feelings of disadvantage, loss, and helplessness. When sad, people often become quiet, less energetic, and withdrawn’ so it’s official I am sad. Further research led me to some power ballads on You Tube (I’ll spare you the link) and an interesting article published in The Times discussing how medics have pathologised sadness replacing the s with m and have set about ridding the Western world of the joys of melancholia by recklessly prescribing SSRI’s anti depressants the minute we stop laughing. Thank God for that then - I hope I haven’t thrown them away!

Stop me if you think you've heard this one before ...

Do you have a mental health problem?

Follow this link to take the test ; Who knew that planning expensive holidays you can't afford is a sign of bipolar disorder? I am silenced.

Two desperate people clinging together and they call it love

Just got the most sickening email from Gwyneth Paltrow's GOOP site explaining how to nurture romantic relationships and make them last - full of hideous poetry and smarmy advice ; I unsubscribed immediately.

Just relapse

Just relapse, just go to sleep. Dash Snow 1981 - 2009

How did this happen?

I am drinking chocolate milkshake late at night – with no hope of burning off any of the calories – even briskest walk to my bedroom won’t make a dent in them. I am attempting to create a sugar high so that I can put the finishing touches to a power point - working title ‘Motivation at Work & Other Anomalies.’ I have no idea how I got myself into this situation, I feel like Virginia Woolf in The Hours ‘I am living a life I don’t want to live in a place where I don’t want to live it..............’

I wanna do bad things to you

Sorry I have been all quiet an all but I fell in love with a vampire called Eric Northman. He is a 1000 year old former Viking though he doesn’t look a day over 40 to me. The opening credits of HBO hot series True Blood were enough to get me hooked. The hotter vampires prefer to drink blood from the Femoral Artery and if you don't know where that is - you really should take more drugs! It launches in the UK on FX channel and is freely available to any one with scant disregard for the $1.900.000 fine recently imposed on a ‘file sharer’. They can’t take what you don’t got .......