Thursday, 24 June 2010
Tuesday, 15 June 2010
I went to Highgate cemetery this Sunday and I think it might possibly be the most beautiful place in London. You have to take the tour if you want to see the divine West Cemetery but its very interesting and worthwhile to do so. It really is the most magical, exquisite, fairy tale, Gothic graveyard ever. Sadly the catacombs are far less romantic than those at Kensal Green as they are made up of just one recessed tunnel that runs underneath the cemetery wall, they have a slightly abandoned wine cellar feel to them and they are actually on ground level which I didn't like. Now I am conflicted (in death as in life) as I would love to be interred in a catacomb at Kensal Green but if I were to be buried in the ground I would want to be buried at Highgate West.
Later we went over to the more modern Eastern burial ground to pay our respects to Malcolm McClaren. Most of the visitors were busy having their picture taken by the huge Karl Marx statue but we don’t agree with communism, ( Richard works in fashion and I don’t like being told what to do) so we didn’t bother with that. We walked past Jeremy Beadle (who knew??) and then Patrick Caulfield’s witty headstone that just says DEAD. Richard asked the attendant how much it would cost us to be buried there. He looked a bit suspicious at first but after pause said ‘four figures’ , then ‘ and we don’t take advance bookings you have to be dead or at least terminal.....’
1 cup of ice
1 cup of low fat soya milk
1 teaspoon of honey
1 medium banana that has been placed in offering to Hindu deity Ganesh, Lord of success and destroyer of evils and obstacles. God of education, knowledge, wisdom and wealth. Prayed upon by the temple priests and then given to you for your home alter in honour of your prayers.
Saturday, 12 June 2010
Wednesday, 9 June 2010
I spent Sunday afternoon in Kensal Green cemetery. We took the guided tour of the catacombs which was pretty exciting except that we were forced to stay close to the well meaning but rather dreary tour guide. The guided cemetery tours are given by ‘The friends of Kensal Green’. As you can imagine any person who considers a Victorian grave yard his buddy is likely to be somewhat socially challenging. And so it was that he led us down the dark stone stairway from the Anglican Chapel into the cold damp dark catacombs below. He showed us the mechanical system that lowers the coffins from the church above to the resting place below. I ascertained that I could get a signal on my Blackberry but the church insists that catacomb coffins are lined in lead which means I now have to totally rework my precautions against being entombed alive strategy. While the ‘friend’ was banging on about the hydraulics of the ‘dumb waiter for the dead’ my mortal friend and I stepped back from the tour to get a better look and a little touch of the tunnels lined with arched recesses full of coffins. We cracked open a bar of Green and Blacks and discussed what an excellent place this would be to A) get laid and B) get buried. Apparently it costs just £5000 to leave your earthly body in Kensal Green catacombs and there are still places available!