Women who love too much: Part 1

Marla Singer - chain smoking, suicidal, self help group addict, owner of nothing, wearer of vintage, lover of Tyler Durden. Helena Bonham Carters finest acting role although the best of her lines, ‘ I wanna have your abortion ‘ after shagging the Brad Pitt Tyler was changed to the less punchy, ‘ I haven’t been fucked like that since grade school ‘.

In death at last she sleeps alone

Said of Morgan le Fay upon her demise in the legend of Merlin and King Arthur. I love the story with all the Witches and their doomed magical children . I just watched the made for TV movie Merlin which is wonderful. The legend pretty much goes like this – Queen Mab makes Merlin who turns out to be good, she wants a pagan king - Merlin being a bore, wants a Christian king. Merlin contrives to make a good heir to the throne. Mab makes a bad one, born of the ever lovely Morgan. Bit of distraction re – Excalibur every one dies – typically mediocrity prevails. I might even go to Avalon at the weekend if it stops raining.

Cash is queen

I hate worrying about money it gets me down – if I ever do drag a blade across my own throat it will no doubt be as a result of financial despair. However this Dorothy Parker quote on cash cheered me up a bit ‘ If you want to know what god thinks about money just look at the people he gave it to.’

Lets get one thing straight

A drug addict friend of mine always says he can remember very little about the eighties, he goes on to say that he wishes he remembered less. If you think that you might have got married in Las Vegas one drunken weekend but you can’t quite remember then allow me to direct you to this fantastic site, sayitisn’ttrue.com. If you type in your name or someone else’s name into this page any marriages that took place in Nevada will come up. Bloody brilliant we should have this system worldwide– book mark the page on our i-phones and save ourselves a lot of bother. Of course its a bit of a bugger if the person who got married was you.

And then the angels forget to pray for us

I am so over it today. I was praying this morning ‘god, please give me a break, and stop me from being such a c*nt because it’s not helping’. I wonder how many people pray these days ... I think I know quiet a lot of people who do for reasons I won’t go into here but it seems like a kind of underground activity on the whole. Being a fear based individual I like it, I often sit in front of my little alter that is actually a plant holder and light an incense stick and a candle and try to make a connection. I have a loose interpretation of what it is I am praying to though, my god is like a greatest hits CD of what I consider to be the best bits of many faiths. I have a statue of Buddha – slim young Buddha not the fat smiley one. I have Kabala cards and a couple of other articles of faith. Some times I go to the Catholic Church on Leicester Square to light candles under the statue of Jesus. I love doing that it always reminds me of two things, Madonna in the Like a Prayer video and the nun rape scene in Bad Lieutenant.

Personality crisis

A man telephoned on Sunday evening. ‘I am in a psychiatric hospital’ he announced ‘will you visit me?’
‘Which one are you in?’
‘Between SW1 & SW5’
‘If you can find out the name of the hospital and the visiting hours, then perhaps I can visit’
‘I KNEW I SHOULDN’T HAVE PHONED YOU!’