I don’t normally do bald guys but........

I thought I might discuss religion this evening as the only programme on TV is ‘ Beauty queens gone wrong’. Personally, I think that these chicks had ‘gone wrong’ the minute they decided to parade about in little more than a spray tan discussing charitable works. Its Sunday tomorrow and I was thinking about maybe becoming religious, channelling Monica Bellucci as Mary Magdalene in the Passion of Christ. Ambiguity stepped in and I thought I would discuss Satanism and googled Anton LaVey instead. I found this great quote from him ‘its too bad stupidity isn’t painful’ which made me laugh but you know Anton was wrong about a few things including this, stupidity is just about the most painful thing of all.

Come on over to my place

This picture is the cover of the Playboy magazine published the month and year of my birth. God I hope the print is too small for the date to be read. They did actually have photography then but for some reason this cover is a painting. I love porn mags - not for the dodgy centrefolds but for their stand alone immorality and the flack the publishers took in regards to the censorship laws of the sixties which benefitted us all. I hate nudity personally – I think the human body is always a disappointment, even my precious Keanu goes to fat in between movies! I do love to watch Girls of the Playboy Mansion on Sunday nights. My favourite girl is Holly because she is desperately ambitious and has a dog that looks just like mine. I heard the following gossip from a freind in LA, Hef is a total pill head, yes they do all have to fuck him and one time they all got ass tightening ops for xmas! Its a strange set up that they have in the mansion but I think it will turn out like this in the end: Holly will marry Hef who will have a cast iron pre nup entitling her to around $50 when it goes tits up which it will in less than a year. All the girls will be thrown out during the drama and replaced by younger blonds. Bridget will have a successful TV and radio career and Kendra will be back on a street corner or earning dimes filming hardcore.

You just can't keep a good woman down

Well you can actually especially if you get them addicted to Crystal Meth. Perhaps this post should be entitled ‘you can’t keep a bad woman quiet’. I am just desperate to see this new HBO documentary Heidi Fleiss: The Would-Be Madam of Crystal. The 2008 Los Angeles Film Festival – Official Selection documentary looks at what happened to Heidi once she completed 21 months of a 37 month jail sentence for pandering and tax evasion. Once at the top of her game providing $10,000.00 dates for the Hollywood elite, a radically downsized Heidi is now living in Nevada where brothels are legal working on her new projects, a brothel for women (with men in it methinks) and a laundromat called ‘Dirty Laundry’. If this woman gets off drugs she could run for office but by the look of things that won’t be anytime soon.

Todays meditation

You are not a beautiful, unique snowflake... This is your life, and it's ending one minute at a time. Chuck Palihnuik

Most games are lost, not won.

I am steadfastly not watching the Olympics, sports bores the f*ck out of me frankly but human rights do not. How can our government and countless others turn a blind eye to Chinas atrocious political record. What about Tianamen Square ,what about Tibet and the world's highest number of executions? I know that Britain is less than squeaky clean but we ought to maintain some basic principles. Sport is supposed to be about fairplay afterall and you could write what the Chinese government knows about that on the back of a grain of rice.

In solitude where we are least alone

Lord Byron was so right with this one particularly when it comes to the cinema. One of my favourite treats is to go to the movies alone during the day. I love to sit in the darkness communing with the celluloid with out fidgety friends near by or worse people munching expensive popcorn and pick & mix. Why do people do that – eat food in cinema? My idea of a treat is to catch a movie – with maybe a diet coke to sip on and then take myself off to Maison B for tea and cake. I don’t want to recreate the darkness of childhood midnight snacks – sucking chocolate fingers with 25 teddies cowering against the night under flannelette bedding. Food in cinemas ought to be banned along with all talking and sitting directly in front of people except when absolutely necessary and then only if the perpetrator is short.