I would like to call for an end to all shared dining tables in restaurants. I have just endured the most distressing lunch ever. In Divertiment on Marylebone High Street I was forced to share the community table with the most disgusting old crone ever – she had slabs of grease literally hanging from her ancient nose. I shouldn’t have kept looking but I had to keep checking it was as bad as I first thought. On the other side of me I had dopey pseudo intellectual (wearing polo neck obviously) discussing ‘prose’ in a loud voice and across from me a self absorbed girl who was just plain ugly who was talking at her mother with her fat mouth full. Why can’t they quality control people before inflicting them on others. Are you clean, not a loud bore, do you eat nicely and are you able to not blow your vile nose for the duration?